TLR Chapter 74

Shorty ushered Jarrod into the bunk house with a sharp swat to his backside, causing the boy to jump and quicken his pace in an effort to get as far away from that large, calloused hand as he could for the time being.  He ran-walked to the opposite side of the kitchen table and turned to watch Shorty saunter in, seeming to be in no hurry.

He blushed hotly when he saw Bo and Jacob at the kitchen table.  They obviously knew what had happened and they both gave Jarrod sympathetic looks before Bo excused himself to perform clearly made up chores out in the barn and Little Jake headed to Shorty’s Vet office in the back to attend to Castiel. Jacob had been too sick to accompany them that morning and it said a lot that Shorty even would let him take care of the kitten.

Shorty leaned against the kitchen counter and looked at Jarrod.  They remained silent for a moment, each waiting to see if the other would speak first, until finally Shorty asked,  "So what the blue blazes went on out there today?"

Jarrod was heartened when he heard the words, spoken calmly and rationally.  He'd fully expected to be yelled at, not that Shorty was much of a yeller to begin with, he admitted to himself, but he had messed up pretty spectacularly and thought that Shorty was being more than lenient at this point.  He'd known that both Coral and James would have had him over their knees in a heartbeat if they hadn't known that Shorty would see to that.

"Nothing, really.  We just got bored," Jarrod answered, realizing as he said it how lame his excuse sounded.

"So you decided to go down the rapids without permission."  

"No one said we couldn't use the raft, Shorty... uh, sir," Jarrod hesitated as he saw a mildly disapproving expression cross Shorty's face.  "As a matter of fact they were the ones who brought it out in the first place, so we can't be in trouble for using it.  I mean, if they didn't want it to be used then they shouldn't have brought it out in the first place, so it's not really our fault," he reasoned.

"What part of stay in sight didn't you get?" Shorty asked in the same, moderate tone he'd been using since they'd begun their conversation.

"There was no 'sight' to keep in," Jarrod remarked.  "Everyone was sleeping except me, Jax and Tris, and we're adults.  I don't see that we needed permission to use one of the rafts that as I said were taken from the cabin's shed to be used. So we used one."

"In other words you took advantage of the fact that everyone else was resting to disobey James's directive that you all stay where they could see you."

"Like I said, Sh... sir...."

"Everyone was sleeping so they couldn't see you anyway.  I got that.  If you know me, son, and I think you do by this time, that's not going to fly with me, any more than it pleased James who took you on a day out with the understanding that you'd behave and obey."

"Well I never actually..."

"Don't even go there, little boy," Shorty warned, his voice tight and his brows furrowed in open displeasure. "You say you're an adult but you didn't behave like one today.  You deliberately disobeyed an order, you all could have been hurt or worse and we wouldn't have known where to find you.  Taking Jaxon with you when he was recovering from his injury was foolish, and I'm not proud of you right now."

Jarrod's face fell and he felt as though he'd been punched in the gut.  If there was anything he hated worse than a spanking it was knowing that he'd let Shorty down.  Being in the older man's high esteem meant everything to him and it was a physical ache, worse than the ache he'd be feeling in his backside very soon, knowing that he'd messed up so badly.

He looked at the kitchen tiles and tried to hold back his tears.  "I'm sorry, sir," he said quietly.

"Then you know what we have to do."

"Yes, sir."

"We'll take care of this up in your room."

"Yes sir," Jarrod said, leading the way quickly to avoid any further swats to add to what he was in for already.

Shorty followed silently, his own heart aching with disappointment and the knowledge of what he had to do.

<<<<>>>>  

When Coral and Ryan dropped Tristan off at his bungalow, Brendon said, "I'll get off here too, Coral. I'd like to talk to Tris for a while."

Coral looked a little surprised but nodded his head. "Will you want a ride back to your own bungalow afterward? I can always come back for you."

"No," Brendon replied smiling, "It's not that far, and as far as I can see the resort is the safest place to be for a night time walk.  From what I hear we have a great security force."

Coral grinned and waved goodbye, as did Ryan.

Brendon approached Tristan and put a hand on his shoulder. "Tris, come with me, we need to talk."

"A-about what?" Tristan asked, uncertain of where this was going to lead.

Brendon said, "About us...about you...about me."

Tristan took a deep breath and followed Brendon into his bungalow. "What do you want to talk about?"

Brendon led Tristan inside.  He looked around and saw that it was all but empty. He took a seat at the small square table and gestured Tristan to sit down as well.

Tris sat and looked at Brendon expectantly if a little nervously. He worried that any advancement he'd made with Brendon had been ruined.

Brendon sighed and looked at the younger man. "Tris...talk to me."

"A-about what? The rapids ride?" Tris asked, unsure of what Brendon wanted and afraid to admit that he might possibly lose Brendon before he'd properly even gotten him back.  He wrapped the blanket that Brendon had given him on the beach a little tighter around himself, more for comfort than for warmth.

 Brendon said, "We can start with that."

"It was just supposed to be a fun adventure. It just got a little out of control... it... it was my fault," he admitted, shamefaced.

Brendon looked curiously at Tristan. "How was it your fault? Was it your idea to go?" he asked quietly.

"Well, no, not exactly, but I was the rudder man and I... well I've never really been on rapids before and I... I rowed the wrong way and ended up making the raft capsize.  I panicked and ended up losing the raft and hurting Jax again."

Brendon nodded. "I understand, so it was your fault because you paddled the raft the wrong way that you capsized, but it wasn't your idea to leave the lake and go on the river, you just went along with the idea," the baker stated.

"Well, yeah, in a nutshell, I guess. I suppose I just wasn't thinking ahead. It just sounded like fun but when we were actually there the raft was bouncing all over the place and suddenly it just didn't seem as fun as it had."

Tristan looked guiltily up at Brendon. "Do... do you think James is going to fire me?" he finally asked. "I haven't been here very long and I've already messed up."

Brendon shook his head. "No, I doubt he will fire you. He's not happy with any of you, but he isn't the kind of man to just do that without just cause and a few young men doing something mischievous doesn't count for that. He didn't fire Ryan when he showed up for his shift having been drinking, he hasn't fired Jarrod and Jacob yet for their mischief either."

Tristan sighed in relief. "What... what about us?" he finally asked. "Did I mess things up between us?"

Brendon shook his head. "No, of course not. We've been going to the classes and learning some things. I'm not about to throw it all away because of mischief."

"Thank you," Tristan said, relieved.  "But... what else did you want to talk about?" he asked nervously, wrapping his cold fingers into the blanket to warm them. He couldn't help an involuntary shiver.

Brendon said to Tristan, "You better go take a shower and get dressed into something warm. You're shivering. We can continue once you're warm and dry," he told the younger man firmly.

Tristan smiled gratefully. His hands and feet were still cold and he could feel a chill down his back despite the blanket. He went to do as Brendon had suggested and returned about ten minutes later. Clean, dry and much warmer than he had been.  He was pleased to see that Brendon was still there, waiting for him. He'd been half afraid that the man would have walked out, giving him up as a bad deal.

Brendon made some hot chocolate while Tristan was in the shower, and placed a cup of the warm, frothy drink in front of Tristan when he sat back down at the table and he smiled at him. "Feeling better?"

Tris smiled again and took the cup Brendon had given him. He wrapped his fingers around the cup and sipped. He made a small sound of contentment as the hot liquid warmed him up on the inside.  "Yes, much. Thank you."

Brendon thought for a moment and then said, "Why don't we go into the living room and take our drinks in there and sit on the sofa together?"

Tristan glanced at the clock and then back toward Brendon. It was getting late for both of them but he didn't want Brendon to leave just yet. "Ok," he said, following Brendon's lead and sitting beside him on the couch.

Brendon rested his arm on the back of the sofa and lightly across Tris's shoulders. “Do you need to take your medications now?" he asked, not quite sure of Tristan's medication schedule.

Tristan blushed. “I’m a little late taking my night time dose," he admitted.

Brendon gave Tris a tap on his thigh. "Go take them now then."

Tristan hesitated. "If I take my night dose now I'll be asleep in about a half hour. I... I don't want... you to go. Yet," he said hesitantly, not sure how Brendon would take his words.

Brendon studied Tris and said, "I can stay for a while, will it hurt since you were late taking your afternoon ones and delaying your night time ones?" He asked. "Be truthful Tris."

"No, not really. I have enough built up in my system that taking them a little late won't hurt," he answered truthfully.  "I just don't want to fall asleep on you while you're here."

Brendon nodded. "All right, as long as missing them won't…um...make you lose control," he said quietly, a somewhat anxious and worried look in his eyes.

Tristan blushed, embarrassed at the reminder of how he'd treated Brendon in the past. "I'm... I'm going to go take them now. Ok? I don't want you to be uncomfortable around me, Bren. I know I was an ass back then, but I've changed now. I'd rather... cut off my right arm than hurt you ever again. In any way. I'll be right back."

He got up and went back into the kitchen. He opened the med tray and dumped his meds into the palm of his hand, tossing them down with a glass of water before returning to Brendon. "I won't last long," he said, grinning sheepishly, "but hopefully you'll feel safer now."

Brendon watched Tris surprised and when the young man returned he said quietly, "You didn't have to do that, but thank you...I know you won't last long... I'll stay until you fade on me and we can continue our talk in the morning if we don't finish tonight," Brendon said quietly.

"Ok," Tris smiled shyly. "What else do you want to talk about?" he asked, taking another sip of his hot chocolate, which was beginning to cool.

Brendon said quietly, "I realize when I heard you were missing and in possible danger that my feelings for you and my protectiveness toward you never went away." 

Tristan held his breath, hoping that he was hearing right. "You... you were... worried about me. You... you still..." he stammered, afraid to voice his own feelings. Was it possible that Brendon was going to really give him a second chance at a real relationship?

Brendon nodded. "Yes, I was worried about you and yes, I found my feelings and protectiveness toward you really never went away. My heart was in my throat and I ran with Jeff and was very glad Shorty grabbed us up and we all ended up at the cove."

Tristan looked down into his cup and said softly, "I was glad to see you there. Even if it was under not so great circumstances. I admit I was surprised. I didn't know... about how you felt about me, I mean. I'm glad that you were there.  It meant a lot to me."

Brendon nodded. "Well I'm glad I could be there and now here for you too."

"Thank you," Tris replied, before letting out a huge yawn. "Oh, sorry!" he apologized quickly. He didn't want Brendon to think he was tiring and leave, but he couldn't stifle another yawn. "Damn," he muttered.  He was more tired than he wanted to admit after the afternoon's adventure, and his meds were catching up to him more quickly than usual.

Brendon seeing Tris was about to fall asleep on him smiled. "Let's get you into bed little boy." He took the remains of the hot chocolate from Tris and placed the cup on the coffee table to take care of later. He pulled Tris up onto his feet and with an arm around him guided him to the bedroom. Once there he turned him and gave him a swat. "We're not done talking by a long shot brat. Right now you need sleep more than talking."

Tristan's eyes widened a bit at the swat and Brendon's words, but Bren was right. He did need sleep at this point.  He yawned again, widely, and his eyes grew heavy lidded.

Once Tris had gotten into the bed and Brendon tucked him in he sat on the edge of the bed and held Tris's hand in his own. "I'll stay with you now until you're sound asleep," he murmured gently.

Tristan squeezed Brendon's hand gratefully and was soon asleep. He wasn't aware of it when Brendon finally released his hand and got up.

Brendon then made his way into the living room, took care of the used hot chocolate mugs and looking at the sofa laid down and pulled the blanket on the back of it over himself and drifted off to sleep.

<<<<<<<>>>>>>>  

The next morning, Tristan awoke to the sounds and smells of coffee and breakfast being made. It took him a moment to orient himself and then he remembered the evening before and he knew who was in his kitchen. He smiled and got out of his bed, eager to see Brendon and thank him.

He padded into the kitchen and was pleased to see the table laid out for breakfast, and Brendon, humming as he cooked.

Brendon had made cinnamon French toast, one of the breakfasts he knew was a favorite of Tristan's. Hearing footsteps he said, "Breakfast will be ready shortly. Pour yourself a cup of coffee and have a seat and don't forget to take your morning meds." He reminded gently.

 "Yes sir," Tristan said with a smile. He went to the cabinet where he kept his tray and dumped the meds into his hand, washing them down with a glass of juice which Brendon had placed on the table for him. He poured coffee for himself and Brendon and sat down at the table.

"Thank you, Bren. For everything," he said gratefully.  He noticed that Brendon was wearing the same clothes he'd been wearing the day before. "You didn't go home at all last night?" He asked, somewhat surprised.

Brendon shook his head. "No, you had a perfectly good comfortable sofa."

Tristan was touched by the gestures and ducked his head so that Brendon wouldn't see his eyes tearing up.  He sipped at his coffee and once he'd gotten his voice under control again, he said, "Thank you."

Brendon hadn't missed the emotion, but made nothing of it and said, "You're welcome. I do believe it's what friends do for each other."

"That smells wonderful," Tris said to change the subject before he ended up crying. That Brendon had stayed the night and made breakfast for him touched him in more ways than he wanted to admit. But he worried over the word 'friends'. He worried that he'd read too much into what had been said the night before and was unwilling to bring the subject up for fear of making a fool of himself.

Brendon turned from the stove and placed a platter filled with the wonderful smelling French toast. He forked a couple of slices onto a plate and poured a generous amount of maple syrup over them and then did the same for himself after placing the plate down in front of Tristan. 

Brendon smiled. "Eat up, Tris."

Tristan dug in with gusto. He was starving and the food tasted even better than it smelled.  "This is wonderful!" Tris said around a mouthful of food.

Brendon chuckled and said, "It is if I do say so myself. Once we're finished eating I'd like to talk some more about us, Tris."

Tristan swallowed and looked inquiringly at Brendon. He wondered what else Brendon wanted to say and wasn't sure he could wait till after breakfast.

Brendon, seeing Tristan's look began, "We've been attending seminars about discipline relationships, I'd like to hear what you think about the things we've learned about them."

"Well," Tristan began, frowning in concentration, "I know... I've known about them for a while now. I know that it's something I... connect to, if that's the right word. Ever since we started taking the classes, I've grown to understand more, and accept that it's the right lifestyle for me." He looked up at Brendon. "How do you feel about them?" he countered cautiously.

Brendon said, "Ever since I swatted you that day and you left I was scared to think about a discipline partnership. As we've been taking the classes and I've been learning a lot about them and myself I believe I did what I did instinctively. It did calm you even if you left. You stopped swinging at me. I think it's right for us."

Tristan nodded thoughtfully. "It did kind of wake me up, I'll admit," he said quietly. "If I'd been in a better frame of mind I'd never have left. It was definitely in the top three stupidest things I ever did. I... I've thought about you a lot over the years, and I've always thought that if I had to do it over again, if I had another chance, that I'd react a lot differently than I did then. Does that make sense? And ever since the seminars... I've wondered what it would be like between us... if there ever was a chance for an us again. If there is, then yes, I agree, it would be... beneficial."  He could feel his face getting hot as he spoke so he ducked his head to take another sip of coffee.

Brendon nodded thoughtfully. "When we were on the beach we talked about giving things a second chance and I'm willing to do that if discipline is part of the package," Brendon told Tris softly.

Tristan looked up to meet Brendon's eyes. This was what he'd been hoping for, that he and Brendon could be a couple again. He swallowed a little nervously and replied quietly, "Yes, Brendon. I agree."

Brendon got up and came over and pulled Tristan into a hug and gave him the kiss he'd been wanting to for a long time now.

Tristan gasped at first, and then smiled widely as he returned the kiss with equal passion. He wrapped his arms around Brendon, loving the feel of the man, the residual scent of his aftershave, the feeling of the stubble against his cheeks. He thought if he died right now he would die happier than he'd been in years.

Brendon said with sincere affection, "I love you my little brat."

"I love you, Brendon, with all my heart.  Do... do you... can you forgive me for... what happened?"  Tristan asked tentatively.  He worried that while Brendon might say he loved him that he'd never forgive, or forget.  He didn't want to spend the rest of his life paying for past mistakes.

Brendon said softly, "I forgive you little one, because what happened you didn't have any control over. It will be hard to forget, but I won't hold the past against you. It will still take some time to trust, but I find that happening more every day."

Tristan blushed hotly with guilt. "I'm... sorry. What you offer is more than I deserve. I hope you can learn to trust me again. And now, now that you know my... condition... I know I can count on you to help me, be there for me. Thank you for forgiving me," he choked.  He put his arms around Brendon's waist and hugged him, laying his head on the other man's chest.

Brendon put his arms around Tristan and held him close, enjoying the feel of his boy back in his arms once again.  "We have the ability to start new, and I'll work at putting the past behind us."

Tristan swallowed down grateful tears. "Thank you," he managed to say around the lump in his throat.

Brendon looked at Tristan. "It might be good if we start out a bit slow, let's try dating on our days off and spend time getting to know each other again."

Tristan smiled up at Bren and replied, "That sounds wonderful. Would... would you like to come back here tomorrow for dinner? We can watch a movie afterward?"

Brendon smiled. "That sounds perfect. How about after we clean up the breakfast dishes we go for a hike through the woods on one of the marked paths? If you like we can put together a picnic lunch and eat by the falls."

"I'd love that," Tristan said. He felt as though his heart were about to explode with happiness. The falls was one of the most romantic spots on the resort. Tristan knew it was too early to think romance, but it was a start.

"Do you want me to call the lodge and ask Gary or one of his assistants to make up a picnic for us, or do you want to wing it?" Tris asked.

Brendon said, "Let's wing it. We'll make do with whatever you have and if there's not enough we can stop at the barn stores and pick up some things there."

Tristan grinned. The two of them rummaged around in his refrigerator and cabinets and scrounged up an impressive amount of food. They started up an assembly line, making and wrapping sandwiches, cutting and bagging fresh fruit and vegetables and found a gallon jug into which Tris poured the lemonade he'd made a night or two ago.

“Don’t forget to pack your meds, Tris,” Brendon reminded his newly found brat.

They packed the largest cooler they could find, which luckily had wheels on it, and pulled it over to the office to borrow one of the golf cart. They drove to Brendon’s home so that he could shower and change and they drove to the falls to begin their hike, taking the easier trail to accommodate the cooler.

At one o'clock they reached their destination and sat down to enjoy their lunch. Tristan couldn't help but to look at Brendon, admiring the man's face and eyes as though seeing them for the first time.

Brendon looked at Tristan interested to see he hadn't changed all that much in the past ten years. He had filled out some, going from a boy to a man's body, but he liked what he saw.

"It's been a long time, Bren. What have you been doing with yourself all this time?" Tristan asked. "We have a lot of catching up to do." He smiled uncertainly.  He hadn't exactly become a monk himself after leaving Brendon, but he'd been unhappy with his relationships.  None of them had lived up to Brendon and he'd never stayed with any of them long.

Brendon smiled a little and said, "After you left I tried dating a few times, but none of the men I dated were you. When I was told by one of the men I dated about the job here I applied and came here as the head baker. I threw myself into the work here and just went home and watched some TV, a DVD or just went to sleep," he told Tristan quietly.

"Same here," Tris replied just as quietly. "I dated a few times, but... all I could think of was you, and what a fool I'd been. I've wished so many times over the years that I could go back and undo what I'd done. When I found out that you were working here..." he swallowed a hard lump and continued to speak, his voice muted, "all I could think of was, did we have a chance. You've given that to me now, Brendon. Thank you."

Tristan pushed down the desire to lean forward and kiss Brendon. He knew it was too early. Too soon, even though Brendon had given him that kiss earlier. He hoped, someday, that they could find the love they'd once had.

Brendon took Tris's hand and said, "I was hurt and angry, I didn't mean to be such a jerk to you when you came here, but all I could remember were the bad times. It took our talk with Heath to remind me that there had been good times too... and when we met on the beach...well, I wasn't sure just where things would go. I'm glad we're here at this point though."

Tristan smiled, a real smile this time with no uncertainty or guilt attached. "I am too." he replied, gently squeezing Brendon's hand in return.

The two men spoke for a long time, trading stories of the things they'd been up to since their breakup, funny stories about their families and friends. Brendon had a boat load of funny stories from the bakery, including biscuits that had somehow turned into hockey pucks as the guys kicked the overcooked things around the kitchen trying to score goals.

Tristan regaled Brendon with a story about how one of the bakers had added too much yeast to a batch of bread dough and had started a fire in the oven with the overflow.

As the sun made it's way toward the horizon Brendon said, "Let's get back before it gets too dark and security has to rescue us."

Tristan's eyes widened as he took in his surroundings. He'd been so intent on Brendon that he hadn't realized how much time had passed.

"Would you like to come over for dinner tonight? Watch a movie? There's no rush since we don't have to work tomorrow."

Brendon chuckled. "Let's go." He stood up and brought Tristan up with him. He began to gather up the remains of their picnic and cleaning up the area to leave it as pristine as when they had stopped there.

Tristan grinned, helping to load the leftover food into the cooler and stuffing wrappers into a bag to be thrown away later.  He bundled up the blanket and tied it with the bungee cord he had for just that purpose, and he and Brendon made their careful way back down the trail in the twilight.

Once they were safely back at the resort, Brendon put an arm around Tristan and began to walk back to his bungalow